Sunday, May 07, 2006

My Mother

I began having the conversations I've always been afraid to have with my mother. Sure, she failed miserably at first, guilty and mired in the past. I cried in a way that I haven't ever cried and then tried again, this time with more than some success. I also learned some things about my situation; like my brother denies the whole thing. In a weird way that freed me. For the past year I assumed that he was saying that I was going along with it, that I was complicit, not that nothing happened. He is, among other things, a complete idiot.

I have enclosed a bit from my mother's most recent email. Thank you all for your support.

"I hope that this will relieve you in some way.
We all love you and want you to find some peace with all this. I know
that isn't easy and I will do whatever you need.

Love, Mom"

3 Comments:

Anonymous Steam Dragon said...

Red?
Seems to me that at least your mom is trying...
Might not seem like a lot right now, but it is a start, yes?

I feel the need to ask you a question.
I hope you won't think ill of my asking it.
I ask because I care. Because the Words you have written have touched me.
So I have to ask.

It will take you a little time to think about your answer, because the first answer you come out with will be invariably the wrong answer.

How you choose to answer -here for all to see, or only to yourself, not even whispered -doesn't matter. All that matters is that it be an honest, SPECIFIC and well thought out answer.

Red,

What do you need for closure?

7/5/06 4:58 PM  
Blogger redmemory1 said...

I think about what I need for closure a lot. I appreciate you asking. I am part of the way there. I need my family to recognize that something occurred and they are now doing that. I need to be able to sleep peacefully and that too is just beginning to happen. I also need to live my life in the future proudly and not let this color every movement. I think that comes with small victories and accomplishments. It comes with achieving goals and mastering tasks that should have been mastered long ago. All of this is happening. Again, thanks for asking. This is also not a complete answer, but the most I can give right now.

7/5/06 8:59 PM  
Blogger Firehand said...

Little piece at a time, it's how most things are built.

And I'd say that's a pretty good answer.

17/5/06 8:19 PM  

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