Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Shooting as Rehab

Today I went to the range. I went with a friend, not my usual shooting friend, and operated in the capacity of a person who shoots, not as a student. I followed all safety rules and I shot well. None of this is really the point, although I am happy with myself for going, for knowing exactly how to use the weapon and for being able to handle the situation without help.

For the past four days I have desperately wanted to get high. Today, finally feeling too much pressure, I decided to try going to the range. Something about conquering my fear, firing a weapon, feeling the empowerment made me believe that maybe, at least temporarily, it would help me get over the urge that I was having trouble fighting.

I rented the Glock and fired fifty rounds. My friend suggested that I fire more quickly, that it would cause less drift, and this actually made it fun for me. It also helped me to shoot more consistently which was exciting. The rush I was seeking through narcotics was replaced by the thrill of hitting the center of the target and the feel of the gun in my hands. I no longer wanted to get high.

As I write this, I think back to when I used to be terrified. I think about how many times I had vomited at the sight of a gun or squirmed when I knew someone had one. It makes me wonder how many other things there are in my life that can be changed by just altering my perspective and experience in a healthy way. I do know that today, right now, I am sober. And I am proud of myself.


Blogger ChargeOfQuarters said...

Congratulations on conquering (even if temporarily) your temptations.

I need to go to the range more often!!

Keep it up, and good luck.


17/1/06 6:34 PM  
Blogger Firehand said...

Hot damn and good for ya!

Something that demands concentration and eye/hand work burns some of the wear & tear out of your system. And how else can you get that while making loud noises and holes in things?

Legally, that is.

17/1/06 8:41 PM  
Anonymous SlappyJack said...

From the front lines:
For those of you wondering about her shooting problems, she was having an issue with compensting for the recoil, and from her latest target you can see that's pretty much gone now.

Red is doing pretty damn well for herself, and I'm very proud of her.

18/1/06 12:30 PM  
Blogger Steaming Dragon said...

Yes, Red is doing well.
And not JUST at the range.
Good on you, Red, and good on YOU, Slappy, for getting her started in the right direction.

18/1/06 3:24 PM  
Anonymous freddyboomboom said...

Congrats on staying sober.

And congrats on conquering your fears about firearms.

18/1/06 11:50 PM  
Blogger Kevin said...

And I'm proud of you, too.

Don't know if it helps for you to know that, but I thought I'd tell you anyway.

Yes, shooting well (hell, doing anything that's challenging and doing it well) is a rush. Only the drugs involved are generated by your own body: adrenaline, endorphins.

Not a bad therapy choice!

20/1/06 2:11 PM  

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